


the one that could have been

by lurKINGaroundd



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 06:49:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17544755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurKINGaroundd/pseuds/lurKINGaroundd
Summary: Way before Michelle became MJ to Peter, for her, for quite a long time, he was already occupying a certain space in her mind.In hermind,not in herheart.She liked to tell herself.





	the one that could have been

Michelle knew a lot of things about Peter Parker, and not because he told her anything, but because she noticed it.

Way before Michelle became MJ to Peter, for her, for quite a long time, he was already occupying a certain space in her mind. 

 

In her _mind,_ not in her _heart._ She liked to tell herself.

 

Michelle watched him from afar, and it didn’t take long for her to see in how much trouble he was getting himself into. 

In a world full of all types of super enhanced individuals, the world in which she grew up into, could make people a bit indifferent to weird stuff happening, to almost world-ending situations. Michelle knew a part of her reacted with indifference when she saw some of the news on TV, still, all of that didn’t prevent her from feeling shocked when she first realized Peter was Spider-Man.

 

He only deals with petty crime, _that’s fine._

He’s out with the Avengers, in space, saving the universe, _that’s not fine._

 

Peter is Spider-Man, and finding that out could be a life-changing moment in her life, until she realized it wasn’t. 

She was barely his friend. Only an acquaintance from school, if you will.

Michelle didn’t even feel like she had the right to hold this secret with her. Ned was the kind of friend someone should trust with their secrets.

With that in mind, she went on with life, as someone who always has her feet on the ground.

 

Becoming a _Decathlon Captain_ felt more like a life-changing moment to her, it was more glued into reality, to her reality at least. 

It was a good enough life-changing moment for a regular teenager trying to snatch a spot in a great university. 

A moment, that once looking at the great scheme of things might feel so small and almost insignificant, but for her high school self it was a more than a great accomplishment.

Peter’s polite smile when he, together with her other teammates congratulated her, felt like a reminder of how much she to step across a line.

That’s the moment Michelle decided she was going to be MJ.

 

She met May Parker, and it was almost as if she connected one last dot in the whole mystery that was Peter. 

Peter’s apartment, his bedroom, the closer look she took at his friendship with Ned, every single detail told a little bit about him.

The dots were all connected, they made sense now, forming a very clear picture. 

 

Michelle had figured him out, entirely, piece by piece, and yet he barely knew her.

 

Encounters to study together, movie nights at his place with Ned, none of that became a habit. 

She got one look, and that was it. 

Michelle comprehended it, she didn’t expect, and she didn’t ask for him to have the same interest she had in his life.

 

“Because purple is your favorite color, I think.” Peter once said to her.

He had gotten her a present for the Decathlon’s Secret Santa that had happened. It was sketchbook, with a beautiful purple-colored cover.

 

_Is it?_ She wondered. _Purple was her favorite color?_

 

“How,” She questioned him. “How do you know about my favorite color?”

Peter blinked, as if he was confused by her question for one second. “Well, I just assumed, you know?” He eventually answered, a hand touching the back of his head, seeming a bit embarrassed. “You had… that one purple streak in your hair.”

_Oh, right._

Michelle did have a purple streak in her hair, she almost completely forgot about that.

“That was last year.” She told him.

“Yeah, I guess it was.” He simply said back with an easy smile.

She decided that purple was officially her favorite color.

 

Maybe Peter did know her a bit after all, more than she expected he did.

 

One day, it would seem like Peter wanted to say more, to open up, maybe even reveal a secret, but he never did. Something always came up, a call, something urgent broadcasting on TV, or even her, making an excuse, just like him, running away from it.

 

He _almost_ told her.

She _almost_ told him. 

 

MJ noticed the glances, the chances.

But Michelle lost all of them.

 

MJ took a step forward.

But Michelle took two steps back.

 

She never formed a strong bond with Ned after all.

She didn’t visit, so she forgot how May’s voice sounded.

 

They never seemed to allow themselves to take that one risk. 

 

In the end, Peter could feel it, and Michelle could see that he was trusting her with an unspoken secret. 

And that trust was all that she was going to take with her.

 

Graduation day, the last day that they would _have_ to see each other, and she only sent a wave in Ned’s direction as a farewell.

She shared one last moment with Peter, one last _almost_ kiss.

She lived her last day as MJ, of _almost_ friends, of _almost_ lovers.

 

He stayed in New York, she went away for Harvard, and never came back.

There was not a day that she didn’t think about him.

Michelle could see him in almost every face in every room, in every street, but with just a closer look she was able to tell that there wasn’t anyone in the world like him, and that was her curse.

 

She never faced New York again, even though she loved that city as much as he did. 

 

Years passed, and as any other day, Michelle came home, and as soon as she opened the door of her empty apartment, she realized she had forgotten the TV on when she left early in the morning.

And as soon as she heard the words coming from the TV news’ host, her whole body felt weak, and her purse fell to the floor, and a second later, her knees followed.

Michelle took a look at the screen, and finally a tear fell as she read the big letters of the news’ headline on the TV.

_**The fall of New York’s Spider-Man.** _

He was gone.

And what could she do?

Michelle thought about going to see May and Ned, but what right did she have? _For a few exchanged glances she shared with him as a teenager?_ She assumed that her presence would only disturb their grief.

She hadn’t had the time to turn on the lights before she collapsed to the floor, so the only light came from the TV, and the white noise that came from it and from the streets could never in a million years reach her ears.

Instead of doing anything else, Michelle remained still, supporting her hands on her knees, her head down, hiding her face as she embraced her own body. For the first time, allowing herself to cry for the boy she once loved. 

Alone, in the empty of her apartment, Michelle shed tears for the one that could have been.

The whole night, she cried goodbye, as she finally lost her first love, or even the love of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> (English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.)
> 
> Find me on twitter: @lurKINGaroundd  
> @lurkingg-around
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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